More Than a Test Score

On Thursday I had the pleasure of attending an absolutely landmark event. An occasion so emotional, so touching, so revolutionary, that no other milestone can even compare.

I’m talking about, of course, my brother’s six grade graduation.

Watching four feet tall adolescents dressed as their parent’s mini-me, their yet-to-be-broken-into dress shoes squeaking across the newly cleaned gym floor, shaking hands with the principal to receive their certificate – I mean diplomas – was definitely the way I planned to spend my first day of summer.

In fact, I was so eager to watch the event that I couldn’t help but pull out my iPod and surreptitiously slip its white ear buds beneath the curtain of my black hair. This sincere gesture was enough to provoke some dirty looks from the parents beside me, as if they expected me to personally congratulate their son or daughter.

That would be a slightly difficult task, considering that I only knew about three kids of the eighty that were lining up to acquire their diplomas.

However, my guilt was alleviated when I noticed one of my brother’s classmates, having all ready obtained her certification of graduation, pull out her pale blue cell phone and begin texting.

If you thought I was astounded by the fact that a child, not even in middle school, was blatantly texting (in the middle of her graduation, mind you), you should have seen my face when I leaned over to see just who she could be texting. Could it be one of her very many friends in the procession of getting their diploma? It couldn’t be her parents, who were sitting right beside her. Maybe it was possibly one of her siblings who couldn’t make it to the ceremony.

No, it was Twitter.

First of all, since when did cell phones become available to elementary school kids? (I didn’t get mine till freshman year) Secondly, don’t you have to be thirteen to operate Twitter? And thirdly, what could be so crucial in her complicated, soon-too-be-a-seventh-grader life that the girl felt compelled to publish an it for all the world to see?

Well, maybe six grade graduation is a big deal. But still. How many people are interested in following a six grader’s tweets? What could be so interesting in their lives that we must read it, published in Twitter format?

It’s not the fact that a Twitter owned by an elementary school student that angers me. It’s the fact that they have access to the internet where they post private on goings of their lives without any care of the consequences. Yes, those that can legally own a Twitter, a Facebook, a MySpace, are in equal danger of, at best, being stalked, at worst, having their identities stolen. Yet, these dangers of the worldwide web are unknown to the younger users who are slowly, but surely, entering it.

If it hasn’t struck you how young these kids are, think about it. Most haven’t finished, or even begun, sex ed. Most have never used a locker. Most are banned from watching PG-13 movies by their parents.

Are these kids exposing themselves to the vast and unsecure world of the internet too soon (armed with a cell phone, no less)? I think so.

Heather Harrison found a scholarship on Zinch.com, applied, won, and we matched it. She’s really excited and so are we. We asked her a few questions, found out about her plans for college, and exactly why she’s more than a test score.

She is ambitious, likes hanging out with friends, listening to music, and watching TV. She’s totally down to earth, totally cool, and totally has a chunk of college paid for. Meet the first student to cash in on Zinch’s Scholarship Matching.

How did you hear about zinch?

My friend Jeff was in the March Madness scholarship competition, so I signed up to support him.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Besides the typical hanging out with friends and listening to music, I enjoy painting, playing with my dogs, and watching Gossip Girl!

Had you applied for any other scholarships?

Yeah – I applied for the Charles, Lela, and Mary Slough Foundation Scholarship, the Emerald Circle Scholarship (for girls who have earned their Girl Scout Gold Award), and the Al’s Formal Wear Scholarship. Quite a random array I must say.

What led you to apply for the Rodeo Art Scholarship?

I saw it on Zinch and then asked my art teacher about it and she gave me an application.

What was your first thought when you found out that you won?

I just kept thinking “Is this for real? Did they make a mistake?” I absolutely could not believe I won.

How much time did it take you to apply for the scholarship?

About 2 1/2 hours. Kind of a long time, but obviously well worth it.

I heard that you’re going to Texas A&M…What are your plans for college as far as your major?

I’m majoring in Biology and hope to go to Pharmacy School. I’ve had an internship at a pharmacy this year and I love it!

Do you know what classes you’re going to take in the fall?

Even with a few AP credits I’ve racked up, I’ll probably still have to get the basics out of the way.

What are some of your life goals?

I want travel the world and set foot on every continent-maybe even Antarctica, I haven’t decided yet. I also want to be someone’s hero someday.

Could we have found a more deserving kid? I don’t think so. We still have a ton of money to match. Get on zinch.com and apply!

Click here to read more about the rules and regulations.

Oh, 13. Welcome to middle school. Welcome to teenage-world. Welcome to self-discovery. Welcome to… the battle to evade leprosy?  Dingding. The battle is inevitable, harsh, and never-ending. But, I, The Amazing Tammy, was going win. As I thought this in my head, a grin spreading over my face, I became quite aware of the fact that many people were staring at me.

I grinned even bigger. They were obviously in awe. My coolness was blinding them. Mwahaha, I thought, I! Am! COOO— BAM! Who put that wall there?! My collision jerked me back to reality, where I was fully aware of the fact that, after running into a wall, I definitely was NOT cool. And the snickers coming from the onlookers surrounding me were definitely not the sounds of someone being blinded by coolness. No, that would sound much, much better.

I could feel my face burning, and I began to panic. What was I supposed to do? Wasn’t there something in the handbook about this type of thing? I mean, I couldn’t be the only 6th grader that ran into walls. I eyed my hand book suspiciously, weighing the possibilities. But then the snickers broke into laughs, and I decided that my first step should probably be to move away from the wall, instead of standing still.  I took one step back, then two, took a deep breath, and dived for the bathroom.

After ten minutes of deep-breathing, I decided it was safe to come out. So I’d run into a wall. Big deal. Those 8th graders probably weren’t nearly as cool as they looked anyway. I pasted my grin back on my face, held my head up high, and marched into the cafeteria. I got about halfway across before I got blocked in; no one seemed capable of moving their chairs to let me pass. I was just opening my mouth to insist that a girl pull herself up to the table when I felt a great whoosh of air on my backside. I knew automatically that something was wrong.

First of all, the news of my running into a wall couldn’t have spread far enough for people to be staring at me like they were. Second of all, that air felt way too close to my skin. I stood frozen for a second, horrified. I had worn my favorite pin-striped sweats that day. The ones that zipped in the back. Slowly, I twisted my body to look at the zipper. But, instead of seeing the zipper pulled securely up, I got a nice eyeful of my purple and blue polka-dotted panties. And so did everyone else.

I must have died of embarrassment at that moment because, after that, everything went blank.

Sixteen Candles, Better Off Dead, Risky Business, Dazed and Confused, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off… All labeled as ‘teenage cult classics’. (If you haven’t seen any of the above, you’re missing out.) They all deal with the triumphs and troubles of teenagers in high school, just trying to find out where they belong and have some fun. I, personally, remember seeing my parents and/or babysitters watching these and laughing hysterically, while I simply looked up to the “Big Kids” in the movie. I thought they were so old and cultured. “They must have an amazing life in high school,” thought a much younger and slightly pudgier Sam. “I wonder what grade they’re in and how old they are and what a prom is.”

Fast forward to a few months ago!

So I’m sitting in my living room with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, watching one of the above stated movies. A few things occured to me during this viewing. First off, high school hasn’t changed too much since our parents were in high school (and maybe some of our parents’ parents.) High schoolers are still as desperate to fit in, to be cool, to get the guy/girl they want, to make the grade, to get the college acceptance letter, to get their parents out of everything in their lives as they were back then. Granted, we don’t have the same hair or clothes or electronics or music tastes, but hey, it’s still pretty similar. If you watch any one of these movies, you can look at the characters and go “Those two are totally James and Beth, always on top of each other… There’s Meghan, totally… Oh, wow, that’s Jeff..” Your parents can do it too.

Another, slightly scarier thing – Those people we used to thing were old and cultured? Yeah, those people are us. We ARE the big, scary high schoolers that you see on the television. We are living all the movie titles I mentioned above. Perhaps it was only a bit enlightening for me, for I realized that as young as I am, fifteen years is also a very long time. Then again, life is short. How am I supposed to do everything that I wanted to do on my ‘List of Things To Do’ list if I’m already fifteen and have no time because of my ‘Power of One’ project?

Anyway.

It’s come to my attention that we’re all living some sort of classic teenage movie. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m shooting for a comedy with a pinch of romance. No one watches those, y’know?

You know what this world needs?

Sure, a cure for cancer (or at least the swine flu) would be nice, and maybe a massive food surplus around the globe would be kind of convenient, but there’s something else we all have a dire need of.

A texting manual.

No, not one that tells you which button stands for “space” and which button gets you a comma. We all know that everyone’s figured that part out already. And if you haven’t, there is no shame in googling it.

I mean like a manual that tells you the rules of texting. A set of protocols. Wouldn’t that make life in general less insane? People would have more hair instead of tearing it out at quizzical messages, teenagers would feel less confuddled in general, and depression rates would plummet.

I’m just saying.

Like there’s the whole thing of getting someone’s number for texting. Is it borderline stalker if you ask a friend of a friend of a friend who knows the guy you met at the local venue last weekend for his number? He did give the thumbs-up to look him up on Myspace. Therefore, is it acceptable to network your way into his contacts list?

But then what do you do after you’ve logged him in as “Sven the hot guy” on the said contacts list? Do you text him? Do you send him a little “hey whts up J” or do you just wait until the day that Sven magically remembers you from the venue and decides that he wants to find your number when all the while, you sneaky beast, you’ve had his?

What is with texting lingo? Tell me you haven’t gotten sick of those three-letter messages that compose entirely of “LOL”. That combination of letters honestly should never have been invented. Just freaking set your phone on WORD and type out the fact that you thought the previous message was so witty.

Hmm. Do you smell that? It kind of smells like bitterness in here. Oh, you don’t smell anything? Yeah, neither do I, come to think of it. Cough.

Some people like to go off the other end of the one-word messages and type back a whole sarcastic novel to Sven, as if maybe you squeeze everything in one text, you can ooze your wittiness out at him and make him fall in love with you. However, because Sven is a normal teenage boy, he gets confused and sends you back a question mark.

Not that I’ve um, had personal experience with that situation.

And then the conversation, whether one-worded or attempting to be funny, comes to that point equivalent of a vocal lull in a conversation. You know, the Point of Uninterest? Is there a secret code word or something out there that indicates when both parties are sick of texting and want to go have a life?

For example, if Sven texts back to you “yup” does that mean he wants you, the crazy stalker girl, to stop talking to him?

Lastly, what is the deal with texting back? Restarting conversations never was so hard until someone invented texting. In the real world, you restart a conversation by the simple act of walking over to Sven and making a comment about his exceedingly cool Nevershoutnever! band tee.

But how do you do that on your phone? If Sven gets a message about how cool his t-shirt is while he is at school and you are at school an hour away, then I personally think he might be kind of creeped out.

But Sven is cute! Sven is adorable! Sven is witty, even in his one-word messages! There wasn’t anything amid all those “LOL’s” and “ROFL” that indicated he didn’t want to talk to you.

So what do you do?!?

My doctor says the ulcer I have might be from a certain source of stress.

I think I have an idea about the specifics.