More Than a Test Score

OK, so Michael Phelps (the dude with the type of bling that no G-Unit or Three 6 Mafia member could even dream of getting their hands on) likes to occasionally participate in ganja-related activities.  Does that make him a bad role model?  Well, yes; kids probably shouldn’t follow his example, no matter how fun he made it seem.  But does it make him a bad person?  No – far from it.  The guy made a mistake.  EVERYBODY does it (make mistakes I mean, not smoke pot).  Tons of celebrities partake in the mary jane (especially athletes – Josh Howard and Lamar Odom ring a bell?).  The only thing is that most of them don’t get caught (and if you don’t believe there are many celebrities – maybe even several of YOUR favorite people – who like to grass it up every once in a while, you’re way naive).   (more…)

Earlier this week brand-spanking new President Barack Obama was asked in an interview who he thinks is the best basketball player on the planet. Since Obama grew up playing ball and still laces up occasionally today, his opinion on this argument definitely counts (at least it does more so than his predecessor’s). When asked the question, Obama answered “Kobe Bryant is the best player in the world.” Mr. President also added that Kobe is “basically unstoppable when his game is on.” When the freaking president of the United States of America proclaims you the best at anything, it’s kickass. But when he chooses one side of a critical debate that has been raging on for over two years, it’s almost inconceivable (seriously, I can imagine that short bald dude from The Princess Bride shouting “inconceivable” right now). Maybe he can pass some law ending the debate and declaring Kobe as the one and only. Or even if he can’t (which he really can’t – it’s just wishful thinking on my part), his own personal presidential proclamation is enough for me. When asked for a response to Obama’s little declaration, KB24 simply said “it’s a great honor.” Short, but it says everything. So that heated debate has been settled – that is, if you trust the judgment of the leader of the free world. There is one lingering question though: Has anyone told LeBron yet? (more…)

After the conspicuous absence of Gossip Girl from last week’s programming, the show delivered this Monday: with fan favorites (Now that his pesky evil uncle is gone, Chuck can stop pretending to be A Morally Upstanding Fellow and can instead revel in his louche decadence), quality Blair time and bit characters that while probably disappear without warning next week (I suspect that Ms. Carr will soon join the Countess and Aaron Rose in GG B-character purgatory).

To fill it’s quota of weekly bitchiness, the writers had Blair continue in her quest to bring down displaced Midwestern teacher Ms. Carr –the only teacher who has ever had the cojones to give Blair Bear a B in her entire educational career- with her usual tactics, namely malicious gossip. In the beginning of the episode, Blair is cheesed off by the fact that she has, OMG, detention (Which the faithful Dorota completes as Blair fumes and paces around like Stalin planning an invasion of Poland) and ponders how best to show Ms. Carr Her Place. (more…)

Why must officials ruin what could have been an amazing game? I recorded the game, and forced myself to watch the pitiful officiating of Super Bowl XLIII. And here is what I realized replay, after replay, after replay…

First, I will begin with the ”awesome play” by James Harrison to end the first half. Before any Steeler fan rejoices that play ever again, watch the replay. Firstly, the refs could have easily called a holding penalty on Deshea Townsend (#26) for holding Kurt Warner all the way down the sideline. But, every single one of them should be fired for not calling the blatantly obvious block from behind by LaMarr Woodley (#56). This play clearly changed how the rest of the game was played, and the halftime score should have been Pittsburgh 10 Arizona 7. (more…)

That was one of the greatest games I’ve ever watched. I think I had nine heart attacks watching it, and when the Fitz ran that ball for a TD some chick honestly had to give me CPR. Which was really kinda dangerous cause the dude who brought the nachos had just given me open heart surgery after that unruly safety. 

But oh, my god…when The-God-Formerly-Known-As-Santonio caught the bullet blessed by Ben, that moment became the single most joyous moment of my life. That moment was greater then the moment my brother was born, when Obama became president, and when the Dunken Donuts re-opened down the street. Combined. If people actually hadn’t been using the couch at the party, I would have burned it. Seriously, I was in such a frenzy that if I had found one of those crappy 1990′s Acuras chillin on the street, I would have flipped it, on my own. And that still wouldn’t even come close to the miracle the Steelers pulled off today.

If you missed the game, then you’re like one of two people in all of America. I’m not going to sum it up for you. Just go look up the play-by-play somewhere else. Call up Madden or something. This game was a once in a lifetime experience. It’s like golfing on the moon with a giant slurpee in one hand, and Angelina Jolie in the other.

My Steelers are amazing. They had the toughest schedule in all of the NFL over the last thirteen years, and they’re still the champs. Which just proves all the rumors true: Big Ben is really a prehistoric diesel powered Mammoth with an arm forged in Mordor, and James Harrison actually the man-child made between Hercules and Chuck Norris.

About the only thing that could be greater then the Steelers having their six-pack of Superbowl rings is Santonio Holmes becoming the official elected mayor of the world. Which is actually kinda feasable right now. Seriously, even Simon would vote for him.